Equanimity

Dear friends,

This chapter is going to be a rough ride, and a long read, so buckle in.

We last left off in Puerto Vallarta. From there Alex and I enjoyed the last couple of days on the coast before heading inland where we would stay for the coming weeks.

Our first stop was just outside of a small colonial-style town named Mascato. The drive took us through small villages up in the mountains alongside miles and miles of agave fields.

After navigating the cluttered streets of Guadalajara we found ourselves in the quaint town of Ajijic, on lake Chapala; the largest lake in Mexico. We discovered a lovely little camping spot tucked away from the main tourist strip, directly on the lakefront. The shaded trees and the cool breeze off the water were a welcome reprieve from the heat.

It. Has. Been. Hot. Most days it reaches 40 degrees Celsius and doesn’t get much lower than 28 degrees at night.

There was a large expat community in this town. A young man walked by our camp spot one night and wandered over to say hello. He was curious about our car and where we came from. His name was Len Davies and he was from America. He asked us for our story, and if anyone knows Alex and I, we LOVE to share stories . We explained that we quit our jobs to take off on the open road, see the world and document our experiences. Turns out he did the exact same thing when he was our age and he’s made his career as a travel documentary producer.

He didn’t stay chatting long, but we were fascinated by the coincidence of the connection. Many people passed by this area walking their dogs or riding their horses.

We have been moving pretty quickly at this point and enjoyed some slow days on the lake. Ajijic proper, was lined with colourful buildings and hanging street decorations. Chimes sounded in the streets on the hour, and you could feel the sense of community in the air.

After a short but sweet visit we were on our way to Mexico City.

Mexico city has the fifth largest city population in the world, and you could feel it throughout it’s entirety.

We spent most of our time there catching up on some computer work, eating tacos and venturing through the streets to find churros.

We stumbled upon “Churreria El Moro'' and it had a lineup around the corner.  Every seat in the house was taken and there were at least 16 workers scrambling around at lightning pace doling out the churros hot and fresh. The glass window was fogged up from the bubbling oil cooking the long spiraled strands of fresh dough. The fryer was wearing a face shield, like the ones from COVID that protected his face from the hot splattering oil. As the worker was frying the dough he’d refill the machine and continue to squirt the long pieces into the boiling oil, then would use a long wooden rod to spin the dough into perfect spirals. He’d pass along the dough on big metal baking sheets then someone would cut them into long pieces, ready to be coated in cinnamon sugar and served to customers. This was Alex’s first ever churro and boy was he impressed.

We also found a bar that served our first beer on tap since the states. Oh how we’ve missed draught beer.

Our final day in Mexico City, the plan was to purchase some audio equipment for some upcoming creative projects. We went for breakfast at a rustic cafe in the student center of the city.

When we returned we realized our tire had been clamped and there was a ticket under the windshield wipers. Attached to the ticket was a 7-step notice on how to pay the fine and then get the boot removed. We were overjoyed…

The first step was paying the $1398 Peso fine, $110 Canadian dollars, which you could pay at the Scotiabank nearby. So Alex went and paid while I waited with the car.

Upon returning with the proof of payment, we then had to take a photo and convert it to a PDF, which then had to be emailed to municipal services. We then would have had to call after waiting for an email back with more instructions and let them know over the phone where we were with the clamp.

While we were amidst the process Alex noticed a funky looking moped had been sitting kitty corner to us, all this time watching us from across the street.

When he noticed Alex return with the receipt and inspect the notice for the next step he scuttled over to the car with a key, and started removing the boot.

We were relieved, but also confused, so we showed him our receipt and asked if everything was ok and we were good to go, and whether or not there was anything else we needed to do as we didn’t want an infraction on our car.

The cop started to get onto his bike and kept his eyes low ignoring our questions. Alex asked again and he nodded “esta bien” and drove away.

Once he left, Alex inspected the tires, which he had already done that morning. Checking the tires has been a regular routine as we’ve been driving with winter tires along some rough terrain and tires can contract and expand quite dramatically in the hot weather. We also have a lot of weight on our wheels so we’ve been checking for leaks or drops in pressure. When Alex looked at the tires after the boot was removed there was a bulge that wasn’t there in the morning.

The way we had parked, one tire was on a grate slightly on an angle. So in order for them to get the clamp on they had to ram it underneath and wedge it between the gap in the road and the tire, which after about an hour of us eating breakfast, caused a massive bubble.

Driving with a bubble in your tire is extremely dangerous as the tire can explode. The only real solution is to purchase a new one.

So off we drove, (carefully) to the closest Toyota to get a quote. They estimated it would cost about $600 for one tire, and they wouldn’t be able to do the repairs until the next day. This was outside the budget and our range of what we could deal with in one day.

Across the street was a Michelin so we drove over to see if they could cut us a deal. Upon inspection we realized that the back tire had some hairline cracks and a small bulge as well, and that two of the tires would need to be replaced. We also had winter tires, which they don’t have here in Mexico, so we would have to wait for tires to arrive if we wanted to replace the same kind. Having two winter tires and two regular tires didn’t really make sense, so we asked what he could charge us for 4 new all-terrain tires.

The guy took pity on us and offered 4 mid-level, all terrain tires including an oil change for $720 dollars. Although this too was still outside of our budget we figured that rusty deserved the upgrade and we could make it work.

3 hours later and a day lost, we were back on the road.

Driving out of the city to our camp spot on top of a volcano was a whole other saga. Driving in Mexico city is abrasive and an all hands on deck operation and I was coming down with a pretty brutal case of food poisoning caused by one two many tacos a couple days prior. We made it to our spot, but I spent most of the night on the toilet, and by toilet I mean bushes.

The next day we had to drive back into the city because we didn’t have time the day before to run the errands that we needed.

We got in and out as smoothly as one could in 40 degree temperatures in downtown Mexico City. I still was pretty under the weather but making it through.

We finally got out of the city and to a uniquely mountainous little hippy town named Amatlan. When we arrived, the campground that we were travelling to looked abandoned and closed. We continued further down the road and noticed a parking sign outside of someone's home. We went over to ask if it would be ok to park our car here for the night. We ended up paying them around $15 and they insisted that we stay in their beautiful cabana up the hill. They also had showers and toilets, and it was surrounded by tall peaks with lush, rocky outcroppings.

It was hot up here, and I was physically exhausted from the food poisoning. Lying in a real bed was needed. The cabana was scorching, but it was quiet and peaceful, and despite the heat we eventually got to sleep.

When we woke up we were covered head to toe in bug bites. It was a rough next couple of days, but just like everything we have learnt on this trip, the rough moments shall too pass… eventually.

The next day we were finally on our way to Oaxaca, which is the part of Mexico Alex and I have been looking forward to the most.

We were planning to camp near a lookout point in Huajuapan.

When we arrived, Alex insisted that we climb to the top of the mountain where there was a viewing platform you could pay $2 to go on. We had just had a pretty long driving day, and I was tired and hungry and was worried about the passing daylight. It was approaching sunset and that evening was when I was supposed to send last week's newsletter. So I was pretty antsy.

But it also was sunset, and what better way than spending it on a viewing tower on top of a mountain.

The climb was steep, but it was short and not nearly as bad as it looked..

We were slightly hesitant at first because there was  a large group of people occupying the space that looked like they were there for something important. But he said “no problemo” and we proceeded.

As we walked barefoot out onto the glass deck, I remembered that Alex is very much afraid of heights. I turned to find him clutching the railing that lined the shear cliff below us. As we stood on the viewing deck overlooking the landscape we watched the sunset over another fulfilling day.

As we were preparing to head back down, the people that we had passed, started to congregate.

There were around 30 people of varying ages dressed in a variety of traditional and non-traditional Mexican costumes. Women were wearing cowboy hats, and there were 6 men in matching cowboy gear with beautiful blue cowboy boots and embezzled jackets that read "Los Sucesores del Norte". There were roughly 12 men dressed in handmade wooden masks with colourful, devilish faces and animal horns. Some masks resembled Jesus Christ, or angels with the faces of men.

Below their masks they were wearing suits with silk scarves, cowboy stirrups, long fur-lined chaps and cowboy boots suitable for dancing.

As they began to congregate music started to play and people began to dance. A woman came over to us and asked us if we wanted to join, and we promptly said “no no that’s ok” having already felt bad for intruding on what we later found out was, a music video for the band mentioned earlier. Before we knew it she had grabbed both of our hands and dragged us into the crowd of cowboys, devils and angels, where we found the beat and proceeded to dance.

The women dressed in cowboy wear were a representation of the Oaxacan rodeo and the festivities of the Oaxacan carnival where this type of dance would occur.

This type of dance is referred to as “Danza de los Diablos'', meaning dance of the devils. History suggests that its origins lie in the Afro-Mexican resistance to slavery. “During the days of freedom granted to them by their planters the slaves went out to dance and celebrate. The dance of the devils is a dance of rebellion.” They were forced to dance to the devil as they were banned from dancing to god because they were not deemed real people.

I was in complete disbelief at the moment. On top of a cliff, in the middle of a Oaxacan dance party with a grin from ear to ear. The woman that dragged us to the middle of the dancefloor danced her way over to us, smiled and said “welcome to Oaxaca.”  

We couldn’t help but feel the overwhelming sensation of such a full circle moment. Just a day or two before this we were having the type of rough go where you ask the universe what you did to deserve this. Now I was asking the universe the very same thing, what did we do to deserve such a special moment? Everyone was incredibly friendly and appreciative of our participation, and insisted that we get photos with them.

After the sunset we decided it was time to go and make our way to our camp spot a little further down the hill. We asked the caretaker if it was ok to camp here and he said that it wouldn’t be ok. He told us there was a park in town that we could go to, so we proceeded there. Although when we arrived we realized that it was street parking beside a basketball court, not far from the center of town. Unfortunately, because we don’t have a camper van with covered windows we didn’t feel safe camping here, so we realized we would have to pivot.

It was getting dark and our options were slim. After searching for about an hour on the outskirts of the city we came up empty handed and decided we would have to find a hotel in the city.

We found a pretty dingy, but reasonably priced place that would do, but the wifi didn’t work nor did our service in the area, so I had to accept that I wouldn’t be able to send out the newsletter on time.

The next day we had a cold shower, and breakfast in the restaurant next to the hotel that was fresh and delicious and quite the spread for the price we paid.

That day we were finally driving to Oaxaca City, a historical and integral part of Mexican culture. We were set to arrive around 2:00 pm and have a video call for a volunteer exchange on a Cocoa farm in the mountains of Guatemala that we had applied for. We were really excited about this opportunity and I was antsy to make it on time to find service and set up for the call in the car.

When we arrived in Oaxaca City, 15 minutes before the call, right on time, I reached for my bag behind my seat to get the link on my phone. I couldn’t seem to locate the bag, so we pulled over to search the car thoroughly. After checking the three main spots that I knew my bag could be, a sinking feeling came over me as I realized I left my bag in the restaurant we ate at that morning… Three hours away.

I felt like I had just dropped a bomb on the day. We weren’t going to be able to take this call for something that was a very important opportunity for us. We had been travelling for quite some time inland now and it felt like it was taking forever to cover distance. We lost a day in Mexico City and now we had to lose another. Money has been tight, and we would have to drive back the three hours we just drove, spending more money on gas and having to pay the toll roads that we had already paid, two more times just to retrieve a bag that might not actually be there when we returned.

The bag which contained my phone and wallet and all the important content that lives in a women’s purse that would be a nightmare to replace in general, let alone a foreign country.

*Cue the massive breakdown and Alex’s endless support.

We decided we would email the work exchange on Alex’s phone and apologize profusely for the inconvenience and hoped it would be ok to reschedule. Then we would call the hotel to ask if the bag was turned in after breakfast. The cell service where we were had been pretty spotty and we are actually unable to make calls on our phone because our sim cards only give us data, not calls. We searched for a payphone, but the one we found was out of order. Alex went to a nearby university and wandered in to see if we could find a phone to borrow. Alex was greeted by a friendly and helpful security guard who offered to call the hotel and explain the situation asking if they could look for the bag.

Which was incredibly helpful given the fact navigating Spanish on the phone is much more challenging than in person where you can read body language or show them google translate if needed. He was able to confirm that they did in fact have the bag and they would hold it at the front desk until we returned later that day.

I was overwhelmed with relief that they still had my bag, and we decided to make the best of the extra 6 hours listening to podcasts and enjoying the scenic mountain drive. We returned to the hotel, grabbed the bag then went back the same way. As we were driving back it began to get dark and storm clouds started to form. The sky boomed with thunder and lightning illuminated the clouds above us.

We were now driving through a massive rain storm. I was once again in disbelief at the universe, but we just laughed, drove cautiously and eventually made it back to Oaxaca City, safely.

The rain had mostly stopped but we decided this was not the weather that we wanted to camp in, so we were on the hunt for yet another hotel. There wasn’t much in the city but I ended up finding a beautiful guesthouse just 15 minutes outside of the city on air bnb for only $38 a night. It had stellar reviews and beautiful photos so we booked it and drove over excitedly.

The guest house was immaculate and the bed was probably the most comfortable bed I have ever slept in. We were greeted warmly by our host who got us settled in nicely. I finished up the newsletter and we crashed into a deep slumber.

The next morning we chatted with the host and his family members and they told us that they produce and sell mezcal, and have for generations. Which was a wonderful coincidence since Alex and I wanted to buy a bottle of Mezcal while in Oaxaca, as this is what the region is greatly known for. Many agave plant varieties only grow in this area of the world, let alone in this region of Mexico.

When we expressed interest in purchasing a bottle they welcomed us into their home and offered us a free Mezcal tasting backdropped over an enriching conversation. They told us all about the history of their family’s tradition and how integral it was to their community. The conversation began to wander and grow as the mezcal flowed, (their tasting portions were more like drinking portions) and it wasn't even noon yet. Then Alex and I purchased a bottle, and left the experience with a renewed outlook on the ups and downs and life.

This past essay highlights only some of the rollercoaster that this trip has been. While the hard moments have been well, hard, they are matched with experiences I could have never imagined having in my life. Life has a funny way of creating balance. It’s easy to get bogged down by the heavy moments, and lose patience that this too shall pass. But I am learning the very important philosophy of equanimity.

Equanimity is the idea that everything is constantly changing, and that by surrendering to the things that we cannot control we gain a sense of stability through the changing tides.

I have recently been reading the book ‘Wherever You Go There You Are’, a book all about the practice of mindfulness. One of the chapters in the book discusses what a ‘mountain mediation’ is. It asks you to envision the most beautiful mountain you can think of and as you sit, to imagine yourself sitting strong like that mountain. The author suggests that mountains go through the turmoil of the changing seasons just like we humans do with the good and bad in life, yet they stand tall in the face of it all.

At the end of the day we can’t change the weather, but we can control how strong we stand and enjoy all the seasons that life has to offer us.